This quaint little new age town has made a whole new man out of me
Before I was so mainstream but now I’m one with alternative society
I go to a reiki master, any ailment his energy flow can correct
The only thing it can’t cure is skepticism that it’s all placebo effect

I buy the whole bar a round of raw milk
They’ll pay me back through barter trade
But I won’t make any deals
While Mercury’s in retrograde

Welcome to granola world
Where so many offbeat lives unfurled
This is my home truly,
We go together like dreadlocks and patchouli
It really gets me high
How folks here look me in the third eye
This drum circle’s giving off good vibrations,
Sigmund Freud would say I have an aura fixation

I’m in a club for laughter yoga and lovingkindness meditation
The moms bring their kids to chicken pox parties, they tell me that’s safer than vaccination
My deodorant is chemical-free, so it won’t oppress my armpit’s natural scents
I can only get laid at music festivals, so when I make love it’s in tents (I’ll camp out on that punchline)

When my mom disinfected my kitchen
I held a funeral for the dead protozoa
I won’t buy food with ingredients I can’t pronounce
So I won’t eat "quinoa"

Namaste granola world
I love to hula hoop and fire twirl
My new friends are quirky
But you will love their thanksgiving Tofurkey
Every day’s like summer camp
Just with a Himalayan pink salt lamp
We want to change the world with a Dalai Lama quote
But we’re not registered to vote

(Instrumental)

It’s a whole new granola world
It’s my oyster with eco-friendly pearls
My beard’s adorned with flowers
I dance in the rain instead of taking showers
My chakra gemstones rock
But I’m just compensating for the size of my compost pile
I’m against materialism and greed
That’s why whatever I earn, I spend it all on weed